Valentine’s Day is about a lot of things. It’s about leaning into supportive commitments that, at their best, encourage us to be all that we might be. In this day and age, many people try to find relationships through apps.

The truth is, some relationships are way too difficult to find on an app. Take, for example, a good relationship with food, which is one of the most important relationships we might have. A positive relationship with food is crucial for overall well-being. It promotes a balanced and nutritious intake, supports eating beneficial amounts, reduces stress and anxiety around eating, and fosters mindful and fulfilling enjoyable eating experiences. On the other hand, a poor relationship with food can lead to disordered eating, low self-esteem, and even physical health issues.

With that in mind, I thought it might be fun to think about how someone seeking a good relationship with food on a relationship app might might go about it. So here is my idea of what the profile of such a person might look like…

Seeking a Fulfilling Relationship this Valentine’s Day

Let’s start with the awful truth: My last relationship with food was pretty tumultuous. I kept feeling so much pressure from diet-culture. There was a lot of keeping score. I don’t know if you could consider it toxic, but looking back, there was a fair amount of dysfunction there. Oh, not that I was blame-free. You know that feeling when you can’t count on someone? That’s what it was like, only I couldn’t count on myself. I admit that I was not very consistent. In fact, I’ve spent years jumping from one diet to another, all seeming like good ideas at the time, but always leaving me feeling worse off. But I’ve finally had enough! I’m done with judgment and shame! I’m ready for something real. I’m ready to embrace a new, more fulfilling relationship with food.

So… I’m looking for a long-term commitment that supports my goals, helps me appreciate myself for who I am, and does not make me feel guilty for indulging from time to time. In my ideal relationship with food, I believe in honoring my body’s signals without rigid rules or restrictions. No more beating myself up over a so-called “cheat meal” or feeling like I’ve failed because I ate a cookie (or two). No more mindless munching or eating out of boredom. Mindfulness and intuition are my guiding lights. I savor each bite, fully present in the moment, and let my body be my compass when it comes to what, and how much, to eat.

Let’s be clear… I am not looking for perfection, expecting perfection turned out to be at the root of so much that went wrong! I’m looking for a judgment-free zone, where I can feel confident and secure in my choices. I yearn for acceptance, accepting my flaws and all. I am seeking a healthy relationship with food that’s about balance and respecting boundaries. Bonus points for an openness to experimenting in the kitchen.

Ok, here’s to a relationship with food that feels light and easy, that just plain feels right! A relationship that’s not about rules or restrictions, but about freedom and pleasure, where I can enjoy the idea of food, without a care in the world! Now then… I’m ready to swipe right!